Here's to living life in my 20's!

I am officially in my 20's. It is very exciting and scary at the same time. I am not sure what I am scared of, but I will not let that ruin the next ten years of my life. Within the next few years, I want to finish my graduate degree and travel the world. I am going to make it a goal that each summer, I have to travel somewhere. Although that does not seem like a lot. I want to network and meet new people. I feel like I am so comfortable where I am and that is bad. I need to want more for myself. I need to wake up every morning having different goals. I want to become a morning person. I want to dedicate time for myself each day know matter how busy I am. I want to fall in and out of love. I want to party and get a hangover or whatever. I crave what every twenty something year old wants, adventure and success. I will make these years the best years of my life. I want to look back and not be disappointed with what I should have done. I want to buy my first car from the dealer. I want to have an apartment with my friends. I want new friends. I want friends who will support me know matter what. I think it's funny because most people look for a boyfriend/girlfriend, but all I want is a best friend who will stand by my side even when the world is trying to tear us apart whether that friend be male or female. I know that my 20's will be stressful because of school and work, but I am okay with that. With every good, there is a bad. With every bad, there is a good. Here's to living life in my 20's!

I hate games

When I was a little girl, I really never liked playing games. I was never into monopoly or candyland or anything like that. So now that I am dating and meeting new people, that is all they seem to play. They love playing games. I don't mean board games. I mean they play with my feelings. I don't understand why someone can't be real and be like "I just want to be friends" instead of leading me on and making me think something else. Like, I'm sorry I am not a stop along the damn way. I am a fucking destination, man.

Childhood

When we are little kids, all we want to do is grow up and be treated like an adult. Then once you're and adult, you want to be a little kid again. At some point, we all take our childhood for granted, but we shouldn't. Even now, 5th graders are wearing make up and have the latest technology. In 5th grade, all I wanted to do is listen to the Jonas Brothers and play tag. Something is seriously wrong with our world. We cannot blame society because we are society. We can only blame ourselves for allowing certain things to happen. No child should have an iphone5. That is so pathetic to me. The scary part is that this is just the beginning. It is only going to get worse.

Farther than Ever

You are becoming the person you said you'd never be. You are becoming someone who looks down on people and you are not realizing that they are fighting their own battle. Maybe not everyone wants to be like you. Did you ever think of that? I get it. You really are my fathers Pride and Joy. I hope you do not disappoint him like you've done to me. Education is important, but its not everything. Not to the point where you are looking down on your own family or begin to neglect them and then act like the victim. I know that sometimes we have to be selfish to get to where we want to be, but it should not always be like that. I hope you never see this because I know you will be sad about it and then deny everything. I already know all your moves. 

But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm just going about all of this the wrong way. Or maybe I just don't want to accept the fact that we no longer have the connection we used to have. We used to be so close. Now you're farther than ever. Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of everything you have accomplished in your life. You have always been a strong woman/sister/friend. I guess it just hurts to realize that everything has changed and we are now growing up. I guess that's life.

The Eaves Of Heaven

"For every devastating flood, there followed a bountiful crop. For every long stretch of flawless days. there waited a mighty storm just below the horizon.  For every great sorrow, there was a great happiness to come"

Life is truly like this book. Happiness can't last forever and neither can depression. It has a way of balancing each other out. If you are happy right now, enjoy it. Never question it because it won't last forever. If you're sad, just remember, you will be happy...soon.

I don't feel lost anymore

The end of my first College quarter is approaching! This quarter has been pretty great. I cannot wait for Spring quarter! I can finally take a full load:) I know its probably going to suck, but I know I'll pull through. I always have and I always will. I actually really like De Anza now. The people are pretty friendly and sometimes too friendly. Everyone minds their own business which is great because in High School everyone was up your ass. LOL. 

I'm going to work at Great America again! I know it's not the best job ever, but it works with my school schedule and especially since I've decided I will continue school over the summer. I need to make up for lost time! I finally feel great about my life. I don't feel lost anymore! 

Goodbye, doll!

So I'm single now. I decided it was for the best. Things completely turned upside down and I think I just need to be on my own right now. I don't have time for a boyfriend and the problems that they bring with a relationship. It sounds bad, but it is what it is!

 My song right now: Goodbye by Kristina DeBarge

I don't care if I never see you again
I'll be alright
Take this final piece of advice and get yourself together
But either way, baby, I'm gone
I'm so over it, I've been there and back
Changed all my numbers and just in case you're wonderin'
I got that new I'm-a-single-girl swag
Got me with my girls and we're singin' it
Sing!