"Fly bird, fly!"

Ever since I got denied from Fresno (The ugly school), my dad has been more open to other options. Yes, my dad. My mom? I don't even know if she knows or if she really even cares. At this point, it doesn't really matter to me. My dad is super convinced that I am going to get accepted into San Jose State because that is where he wants me to go. I don't really want to go there, but whatever i'll see what happens. Maybe i'll change my mind about it if I do get accepted. My dad doesn't want me to go far because of financial reasons. Although I know that deep down that is not the real reason. I think he just doesn't want to accept the fact that I am growing up and I need to do my own thing. I know that if I did leave, it would be really hard on him because my sister moved to SF and the other one is married with a baby on the way. CRAZY. The only ones left are my 10 year old sister and I. To be honest, I don't really want to leave either. I want to, but then I don't. I don't want to leave my parents. I know I can always go back and visit, but it won't be the same. My dad always secretly wanted me to go to UCSB. I found out because he told me. That is why I would like to go to NHU and then transfer. UCSB and UCI were the only UCs that I liked. Ms. Gowen told me that I can go to community college in Santa Barbara because they have dorms. She keeps telling me, "Fly bird, fly!". Apparently it is right next to UCSB. I guess that's an option. I like NHU because its a small private school and I can transfer. All I know is that financially, I need to step my game up. I just don't think its real to me yet. This break coming up, I have a lot of applying to do!